5 reasons why Imran Khan is a failure

imran_khan_pakistan_elections_dream_speech

Azadi March and Inqilab March have been hogging the news media for the past week. The attention and the excitement encircling the two ‘biggest’ marches of the year was anticipated. Dr Tahir-ul-Qadri certainly knows how to pull media attention despite the fact that he spends most of the time in Canada and his fiery statements come once in a while, and his party has zero representation in Parliament. He haunted headlines last year but back then he attracted the media with his own tactics. This year the government was kind enough to save him the effort by killing his supporters in Model Town, Lahore, turning the direction of his plane and then, to top it all off, besieging Model Town for a week.

As for PTI, well…when you have Imran Khan as party chairman all you have to do is announce he is planning to set out and viola! The media will shove everything aside in a jiffy. But the charm isn’t enough. To ‘topple the government’ you need more than looks and charisma. Even the so-called junoon doesn’t do the trick. Here are five reasons that will lead to his failure.

- Unreal Demands

I mean seriously? You expect an elected prime minister to resign because you think, no, you believe you should be in his shoes, or in this case, his ‘kursi’? Yeah sure, you can try to cover it up by declaring the elections were rigged but honestly, you can’t just stand up and bring the entire capital to a stand still because you want reelections. The end doesn’t always justify the means Khan sahib, especially when you don’t even have a clear end in sight.

- Stark contrast in words and actions

When I started writing this blog I’d thought I will start with you running of to home every now and then while your supporters wander here and there but now you have gone much farther. You are inviting people to join you in Civil Disobedience because you want to ‘save the country’. #OhTheIrony. As if that wasn’t enough, today you’ll be marching towards the Red Zone, once again to ‘save the country’ and have threatened to turn violent if security tries to do their job by stopping you because you want them to do their job. I mean…you should be exempted of all rules because you want everyone else to follow them? #Irony #Irony #Irony

On one hand you tell people that all you care about is them. On the other hand, people in Peshawar, the capital of the province that YOUR party rules, were dying because it rained too hard (says a lot about management) and you didn’t even care enough to mention them once let alone send the CM to deal with the situation!

While you tell people in your rally to celebrate independence each night, people of North Waziristan are being driven out of their homes. Apparently they aren’t important either. There was an attack on Balochistan airport on the night of 14th of August (the real Independence Day) and you didn’t care enough to mention that. Nope it’s all about you and elections.

And then the biggest threat that you keep giving out: Army Interference. After all the poison you spewed against Musharraf, now you seem OK with threatening the govt that they will be overthrown by the institution he belonged to. Wow Khan sahib. Wow.

- Misled Supporters

I would have taken the ‘Civil Disobedience’ call seriously had PAT issued it. Why? Because PAT’s supporters are much more disciplined, more aware and more mature than your wide-eyed dancing puppets. They don’t know what they want and you take advantage of that by dictating them and charm them by giving out constant cricket references. You do seem to have something in common with your supporters though; both can’t take criticism.

- Same old, same old

Every time you start your speech, I start reading along. Literally. Everything you say, your demands, rhetoric, even your examples are so repetitive that it’s turned stale. All your addresses are Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V = boring. The only reasons I watch you speak on stage is a) it’s my job and b) well you are still charming :p.

- Obvious hunger for power

And it was pretty transparent even before you said, ‘Prime minister Imran Khan ap se kabhi jhoot nahi boley ga.’ This statement removed every doubt anyone had about your intentions and future plans. I don’t think I need to go on about it.

At this moment you are about to barge into Red Zone along with Dr Tahir-ul-Qadri and his supporters. And God knows what’s up for the Pakistani nation next. We can only hope that the outcome of your madness isn’t as terrible as we fear it will be. Then again, it is Nawaz Sharif on the other side, so even if you go what they call ‘full retard’, you might emerge victorious.

“I’m a man of very few expectations.” 

Originally posted on something HAUTE:

Fawad Khan talks to Instep about Khoobsurat hype, racy Bollywood romances and dancing without his shirt on.

photoI first met Fawad Khan a couple of years ago, in Lahore, when Humsafar was underway and Asher Husain (the character he played) was the man every woman loved to hate on. There was Fawad Khan hysteria even back then and I remember having to stop the interview several times to allow gushing teenagers a photo op or autograph. Good looking and extremely well-mannered, he was every girl’s ideal hero, even if his character always had menacing undertones, which was the case in Khuda Kay Liye, Humsafar and to a lesser extent, even in Zindagi Gulzar Hai.

What we see now is the rise of unprecedented fanfare, unraveling as Khoobsurat – Fawad’s Bollywood debut – approaches its date of release. Impossible to catch him in person, we managed to get through to him…

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6 things that annoy page managers

Working on social media for over a year has taught me a lot. One of the things I learnt is there is absolutely NOTHING exciting about this job. Contrary to popular belief, it is extremely monotonous and severely boring. And the annoying fans make it even worse. Here is a list of characteristics of fans that makes me want to bang my head on the wall and throw the ‘liker’ in the deepest pits of hell.

The promoters

Those pesky little brats who go on each post and share their idiotic pages about romantic poetry and beauty tips. You can keep on hiding and deleting their comments but they just won’t take the hint.

The moral police

They have the startling ability of digging up something negative in EVERYTHING you post. They hate it if you post entertaining pictures and statuses on an entertainment page, or if you post news on a news page.

Common comments:

  • Ap ko sharam nahi ati aisi news share karte hue?!
  • Is this Muslim country? OR Is this Pakistani culture?
  • Sharam se doob maro admin!

And…wait for it…

  • How dare you share such stuff! You are a %*&(&%$*(

Admin’s reaction:

 The frandshippers  

They post their numbers in all their comments on each post and beg people to call them if they need a real ‘fraand’. And most of them are girls.

Thick chance honey. You’re banned.

The ‘I don’t care’ type

They will see all the posts, read all statuses and every article shared on the page and then comment that they don’t care as way of ‘insulting’ the page manager.

The sniffing dogs

They can sniff a conspiracy in everything in the world and staunchly believe that the page THEY liked is Satanic and the manager of the page works for the Zionists.

One letter for them: K!

The thick headed

They are kind of similar to ‘moral police’. They will pass insulting comments on not just the page but also on other users and drive you to the point where you have just two choices left: either ban them or smash their thick skulls in the wall.

 

But then there are the The sane minds

who actually use their minds and participate like a civilized, decent human being instead of being a wild animal to everyone just for the heck of it. These are the people who make your job worthwhile.